Love Month, Day 12: Letter to my heart.

When I opened this post box I had grand plans for what i'd say in a letter to my heart, but then I realized I think I'm too young to have any real perspective. So this is more a letter to the future of my heart rather than the past.

Dear heart,

Don't be so afraid of letting someone love you. Petty teenage romances are not indicative of how the world feels about you. You have worth, and you deserve love just as much as any other heart out there.

I know it feels like the walls you built are safe, but just as they block out bad things they also block out good things. Opening up means allowing in great joy and great sorrow. Whatever is in store for us, we can take it. 

Let life happen as it's going to. As much as you want to control everything, sometimes it's better to sit back and wait.

Show more love to the world at large. Your feelings are so hidden that even sometimes the brain isn't aware of how you feel. Don't hold your cards so close. People want to be let in, even if you don't believe it.

Love,

Me

Sometimes I lay really still and watch my heartbeat on my stomach. If you hold your breath for a few seconds you can see your skin pulse. I guess it's not a heartbeat as much as blood rippling by, but I like seeing visual representation of all the processes at work keeping me alive. I guess you can see it in all parts of your body if you are still enough, but I personally like watching my stomach.

I don't know what that has to do with anything. I just got reminded of it when I was thinking about my heart.