Small leaps

I own a particularly colorful pair of rainboots. For the first year or so I owned them, I pulled my jeans over them, shy about their brightness. I loved the color and pattern, but I was afraid of what other people would think. 

Today, I tucked my jeans into my rainboots. Not only did it make it so that my jeans stayed dry, but I thought I looked quite fetching. 

Walking to class today, I still felt the same shyness wrap itself around me, but there was a smaller voice that said, who cares what other people think. And if people are going to judge me for my choice of rainboot color, then they probably are not someone I'd want to spend my time with anyway. While it was a small voice, it was enough to keep me from stopping and pulling my jeans back out. 

It is in these tiny ways that I realize I am changing. Perhaps these events seem insignificant, but I spent most of my life terrified of what other people would think. I tucked away parts of my personality for fear that others would judge it. I still worry about people judging me, but I think it is in a more healthy, abstract way rather than a crippling fear. The fact I'm learning that my little decisions lead me to the right people, well I think that's very important. I'm also learning to trust what I want rather than what I think other people want. Because who really knows what other people want? You might as well be true to yourself rather than blindly trying to please as many people as possible.